Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Ultrasound

August 22, 2011


So there you are
So small and frail
Each tiny feature
Etched in fine detail.


Today we met C and were invited to see an ultrasound of the baby.  The doctors wanted to get a good picture of her heart because during previous ultrasounds, the baby had not been in a good position to see the heart.  Today was different.  The heart was very visible on the screen, fluttering away at a rate deemed "perfect" by the ultrasound technician.

I had an ultrasound once---before I had my gall bladder removed---to confirm that I did indeed have gallstones..... Needless to say---it's just not the same.   They don't give you a picture---where you can say--"and see---this one has Stuart's nose"....etc.  Not nearly as exciting---I'm just sayin'.

Did you know that you can see hair on an ultrasound?  It took me aback.  Those little tufts of fuzz covering her tiny little head.  Also---I think she's going to be a gymnast---because she spent a good portion of the time with her feet up on her head.

Praise our Father---it looks that everything is where it's supposed to be---from her tiny fingers to her tiny toes.  And it felt surreal to be there---taking in our first real glimpse of this sweet child's delicate features.

  There's a lot to think about right now.  My thoughts seem to be chasing themselves in circles, each one yapping at the tail of the one in front of it.  I wonder if she's really ours.  I wonder what our role is in this situation.  Are we being called to be this child's parents----or are we being called to be there for a young lady who just needs someone to be there with her.  I wonder how we will feel if we do need to leave the hospital with no baby because this isn't our baby after all.  I know God will get us through whatever happens next-----but I still have some anxiety about repeating one more strain of the same song yet again.  C wants us to be in the room with her when the baby is born.  I wonder how we'll fare with that.  My mom faints at the mere mention of blood---I'm not quite that bad---but nor have I ever been in a situation where large quantities of blood are present.  I'm not getting light-headed thinking about it---so maybe that's a good sign?  We'll see. Here's hoping that neither Stu nor I pass out.  That would be mildly inconvenient.  At the same time that I'm worried----I'm also excited and awed to be at the birth---because---bloody, scary, messy, whatever---it's still a miracle.  Of that I have no doubt.  

All right little one---  You weighed 7 pounds today---and your head is down---ready to greet the world in God's timing.  You're only 38 weeks old today----but already---you're beautiful and precious in our sight.    May God be with you and with C and with us in the coming weeks.

1 comment:

  1. and what beautiful hair she has! Love touching that soft head of hers! :)

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