A Brief Update

     I haven't blogged or given any updates in a while because we haven't had any news to share.   M had fallen out of touch with our adoption agency for a period of time;  our agency warned us that it was looking more likely that M would change her mind about the adoption plan and choose to parent.  Stu and I were preparing ourselves for that to happen.  Our feelings were ambivalent--because on the one hand--a family that was to endure the grief of separation might be spared significant loss and pain if they were able to discover a way to remain together.  On the other hand, should M choose to parent, our family would remain incomplete indefinitely.  And we can't help but want to welcome a baby home sooner rather than later.  Our joy is founded in someone else's sacrifice.  This is a hard adoption truth.  But acknowledging this truth honors M, and honoring M honors our child.

     Today, we received news from the agency that M is indeed still planning to go through with making an adoption plan for the baby.  They gave us the reasons M had been out of touch, which had nothing to do with her changing her mind.  For the first time, I really feel as though this is actually going to happen.  I fully expect that there will be a tiny baby gracing our home by the end of the week or so.  Of course, nothing is certain.  These are just my feelings---but for now I'm trusting them.  I'm taking a few deep breaths---and I'm just going to live in a place where this is real.  Stu and I have packed our bags, for us, and for the baby.  M's due date was today.  She has a doctor's appointment tomorrow---and I wonder if we will get the call that we've been anticipating tomorrow as well.  Every time the phone rings, Stu and I are all but leaping out of our skin.  I believe our first child is on his way.  And we can't wait to meet him.