This should be titled the blog in which I reveal that I know absolutely nothing about anything. Just when I finally think I know what's going to happen---the path in front of me is jerked out from under me and I find myself in completely unfamiliar territory. C'est la vie.
We got word today that M has chosen to parent her child. She was induced Tuesday--and we were waiting to hear when we were to leave to go and pick up the baby from the hospital. Stu and I have both been off work for two days. The car was packed---the bassinet had clean sheets waiting---and our arms began to all but tingle in anticipation of holding our little boy---but the call from the agency that finally came today at 12:30 did not yield the news that we'd been expecting. This baby is not our baby. We always knew this was a possibility---but when possibility shifts to reality---we find that its sting is harsher than we ever knew that it could be. Sadness....disappointment......emptiness----but then--as it turns out---our hands have to be empty in order to be free to accept God's grace and His blessings....
Let's fast forward to two hours later.....another call from Bethany...another little baby boy....two months old......birthmom wants to meet us. Tomorrow. At 11:00 am. Pray. Obviously, anything can happen---or not happen. I've given up trying to predict anything. And in the end, the child that we have will be the child that we are supposed to have. Of this, I am completely confident. Our paths may cross with many people that we would never have met if we weren't going through the adoption process.....people who may or may not choose us to parent their children....and I truly believe that there's a reason we meet all of these people. Another blogger who went through something similar recently said that the reason may be simply to make us aware that there are people who need our prayers. So we'll pray---and we'll ask you to pray too.....for all the mothers out there who find themselves in difficult circumstances.
Pray for M and her family as well. We wish them all God's presence and blessings in their lives as they go forward together, as a family.
Praying for you today, Ashley. We love y'all so much, and we know that God knows your child and loves him/her and you two as well.
ReplyDeleteAshley, I have been following your story and want you to know that I am praying for you to be comforted. I wish I had something profound to say, that would make it all worth it, but I don't. All I know is that adoption is hard. We heard in a talk by Russell Moore that adoption is hard because there is spiritual warfare involved, because adoption is God's work and Satan is always about the business of disrupting God's revelation of Himself, especially when it involves children. We felt this so much when we went through this, mainly because we became painfully aware of the widespread crisis among unstable and hurting families. Anyway, I hurt along with you and am praying.
ReplyDeleteAshley, I am praying that God will continue to heal the pain & give you and Stuart the strength to endure the road that lies ahead. I can only imagine how you feel. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. God's work is still in process and he will answer your prayers and those that are praying for you all in his time. Your BLE family loves & misses you!
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