Monday, April 18, 2011
A Quick Dose of Reality
I think I need to put it out there that although right now we are proceeding towards this adoption with hope and love in our hearts, it is not at all a sure thing. M could change her mind after giving birth to her son; this happens a lot---and it's not difficult to understand why. After she holds that baby in her arms the first time, the world could suddenly look like a completely different place. No matter how firmly she may feel at this moment about making an adoption plan for her baby, that could all change in a second after those tiny fingers wrap around hers. And should this happen, Stu and I would not be angry or bitter with her. Sad---yes. Disappointed---yes. Angry---no. Part of us is expecting this to happen. To some degree, it seems almost inevitable. When we try to put ourselves in her shoes, we can't. We can't imagine her situation, we can't even begin to comprehend the sacrifice she is preparing herself to make out of love for her little one. We can't know what she will ultimately decide. But for now, we will continue to fold the tiny clothes in the nursery; we'll continue to pack our bag with diapers, baby wipes, and other necessities; we'll continue to look forward with anticipation and excitement. And if we drive to the hospital one day and return home with an empty car seat, well---that will be hard. But I don't believe it will be for naught. I don't believe that anything that happens does so without reason. There are just reasons that you can fathom and reasons that you can't. And no matter what happens, crossing paths with M and C will not be something we look upon with regret. Meeting them was a privilege; hearing their story was a privilege; whatever happens next will be in line with God's will and God's plan. And we will continue to pray that our will may be aligned with His.
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Once again, beautifully written. You and Stuart continue to look at this journey with very open and gracious hearts. You're one of the few I know that could truly say you weren't angry if things changed. Of course, we'll continue to pray that baby Solomon comes home with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda---for everything. I had an email from our social worker today congratulating us---and also cautioning us to remember that nothing is for sure. We are trying to remember that our joy in this new child will be because of someone else's pain and loss. Thank you so much for your prayers. Stu and I feel that God has been very present during these exciting, yet uncertain times.
ReplyDeleteHe's never closer to us than when we need Him most. Aligning yourselves with His ultimate will is difficult sometimes as you confront the potential realities. But He says "the steps of the righteous are ordered." So in uncertain times, you can rest knowing that whether or not you know the answers, you know the One who does and He's got His eye on you. He's picked you two to handle this situation and to love at least one child to the life He gave him/her. Your faith and trust continue to be an inspiration to me.
ReplyDelete<3 you guys. You're in my prayers but you're in Great Hands.