Miriam's First Halloween/Random thoughts

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Until I am old enough to receive candy in exchange for wearing a scratchy--albeit undeniably adorable ensemble such as the one above---I would appreciate it if you would keep me in my onesies and pjs---even if it is Halloween.  I'll give you one sweet picture out of the goodness of my heart---and now--I'm going to fuss and look pitiful until you put me back in my cozy nightgown.  That is all.

Miriam

Miriam was eight weeks old plus a day for her first Halloween.  We took her to my parents' house---where we met Joshua, the bear:

and Silas the spider (Joshua the bear's good buddy)  You'd be surprised at how well spiders, bears, and ballerinas can get along together.  Silas the spider offered to push the ballerina around on Joshua's little  bus (and don't you think it was kind of the bear to share his toys with the spider?)  Of course the ballerina was too little for the bus---but she appreciated the offer nonetheless.  Maybe this was all just a bit of Halloween magic that was only to be on this night--and spiders and bears and ballerinas will never again consort together in harmony---but then that's a big part of what makes magic magical---that it happens sparingly.  So we will harbor these memories---and keep them precious---until we make more.  It seems to me that babies and children are full of fleeting moments of magic which quickly turn into memories.  And the sadness one might feel when a moment passes too quickly is soon enveloped by the joy of the next precious moment---which seems to overlap with the one that preceded it---and the one that is sure to follow.  

In the midst of this flurry of firsts and magic---there have been sleepless nights---missed showers---and to-do lists which always end up mocking me relentlessly.  And I won't say there hasn't been frustration and exhaustion--they too have been companions to Stuart and to me.  But they are companions that can be silenced very efficiently with one laugh from our child---one smile---one finger curled around ours----God reminds us in numerous ways that we have been blessed with this little girl.  We didn't deserve the blessing---but God gave it to us just the same.  And that is a humbling thought.  

Sometimes these days, I find myself looking forward---making plans for years down the line----and then I stop---and I laugh at myself.  And I pray---God---I'll go where you want me to go.  Not that He needs us to acknowledge this fact---we're all going to go where God wants us to go---one way or the other.  But I think we're a lot more at peace when we go willingly.  Let's avoid a big fish scenario, right?  

I say this a lot on this blog---I feel the need to say it again---we wouldn't have met Miriam if our own plans had come to pass.  And oh--what a tragedy that would have been.  I can't even imagine.  Recognizing this leads me to say with humor and with peace---I haven't a clue what I'm doing---it's best I not take the reigns here---but that's ok---I know who to hand them over to.  And I'm thankful for the "God of second chances."